Sorrow and Strength:
The Work of Michael Lochlann.
Selected Works.
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Fiction
It's not reality. It's more real than that.

Click the title to read the story.
(Flash Story) Gateway to Tomorrow (Flash Story) Gateway to Tomorrow
The knock at the door shocked him; in the dark, quiet room, it struck like thunder.
(Flash Story) Suicide I (Flash Story) Suicide I
(Short Story) Helpless (Short Story) Helpless
There was a humming in the background, an unfamiliar, yet constant humming...
(Flash Story) Cold of the Dark (Flash Story) Cold of the Dark
She stood before him, clenching a paper in her hand like a knife, her face crumpled with restrained anger and grief...
(Flash Story) Within Rights (Flash Story) Within Rights
“I can’t lose this job, Joel! I have a little girl to support!”
(Flash Story) The Archer (Flash Story) The Archer
The sword lay in the grass, coated with dark dried blood...
(Flash Story) Master and Slave (Flash Story) Master and Slave
(Flash Story) Kingdom (Flash Story) Kingdom
“The truth is, I’m lonely,” she said, her back to him, eyes low, as if speaking to the end table next to their bed....
(Short Story) The Orders of a Superior Officer (Short Story) The Orders of a Superior Officer
“I know,” Kirkegaarn said, “that if we cross that hill, we are all going to die...”
(Flash Story) Beyond Your Control (Flash Story) Beyond Your Control
“I won’t forget her! I can’t!”
(Flash Story) Ruined World (Flash Story) Ruined World
Just like this chair, he thought, the world is old and worn-out; a few more times around and it might collapse under my weight...
(Flash Story) A SWITCH TO STOP TIME (Flash Story) A SWITCH TO STOP TIME
Bliss. The ancient Thurslan monks wrote about it: a state of explicit, unbelievable happiness, a happiness so great they felt no hunger or thirst...
(Flash Story) Eternal Vale (Flash Story) Eternal Vale
“This is called the Eternal Vale,” Cari read, “because these trees have grown here, unencumbered by man’s progress, for centuries..."
(Short Story) The Star Captain and the Bartender (Short Story) The Star Captain and the Bartender
"Hey there pretty thing...you ever been with a space captain before?"



Music
Sometimes mean, sometimes pretty, always weird.

Hit the play button to play on this page.

Click the title to download the file.
Performed by the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra
Rock/metal cover. Original by Yuki Kajiura



Jokes
If you laugh at any of these, you have very poor taste.
(Joke) American Dream (Joke) American Dream

It used to be the American dream to own a house. 
Now the American dream is “I hope I don’t get shot today.”

(Joke) Spirit Animals (Joke) Spirit Animals

My spirit animal is the wolf,
because no one likes them.

(Joke) Mad scientist (Joke) Mad scientist

I used to be a mad scientist, but I went to anger management.

(Joke) Justice (Joke) Justice

Why do judges have insomnia?
Because justice never sleeps.

(Joke) Upstairs (Joke) Upstairs

I don’t trust my upstairs neighbor
because he is not on the level with me.

(Joke) Nice Guys (Joke) Nice Guys

Nice guys finish last...
Except at the Nice Guy Competition.

(Joke) Lizard Sex (Joke) Lizard Sex

I saw two lizards having sex the other day
He was fucking her so hard her tail broke off.
That's how you know he was good.

(Joke) Blind Joke (Joke) Blind Joke

The worst way to break up with a blind person
Is to tell them you want to see other people.

(Joke) Playground Joke 2 (Joke) Playground Joke 2

Why do kids scream at the playground? 
Are wood chips really that scary?

(Joke) Roller Coaster Joke (Joke) Roller Coaster Joke

Love is a roller coaster I'm too old and fat to get on.

(Joke) Speed Dating Joke 2 (Joke) Speed Dating Joke 2

They call it speed dating,
But you don't get laid faster.

(Joke) Religion Joke (Joke) Religion Joke

What's the difference between a cult and a religion?
A religion makes more money.

(Joke) Rage against the machine (Joke) Rage against the machine

I raged against the machine, but it was better at it than me.

(Joke) Inventor (Joke) Inventor

I invented a way to come up with bad ideas,
but then I realized I didn't need it.

(Joke) Tattoo 2 (Joke) Tattoo 2

Tattoos make you look tough, unless you have one that says, “I’m a sissy.”

(Joke) Motorcycle Gang (Joke) Motorcycle Gang

If you changed motorcycle gang to mustache gang, it wouldn’t do anything.

(Joke) Inside Scoop (Joke) Inside Scoop

I got the inside scoop on a conspiracy:
the ice cream store was overcharging. 

(Joke) Grocery Store Joke 2 (Joke) Grocery Store Joke 2

I did my grocery shopping in a flash
and got arrested for public indecency.

(Joke) IT job (Joke) IT job

I thought about a career in IT
but it sounded like too much network.

(Joke) Frequency (Joke) Frequency

My boss asked me to do something every day, but I have trouble hearing that frequency.

(Joke) Waste of Space (Joke) Waste of Space

If you’re fat, and you feel like a waste of space, you are.

(Joke) Iron Age Joke (Joke) Iron Age Joke

The Iron Age started in 1200 B.C.
After that, clothes looked great.

(Joke) Witch Burning Joke (Joke) Witch Burning Joke

It seems cruel that the Inquisition burned witches at the stake, but it's not their fault they couldn't get the electric chair to work.

 

(Joke) Chain Reaction Joke (Joke) Chain Reaction Joke

I'm allergic to metal, so when I go to the hardware store I have a chain reaction.

(Joke) Sex Sells (Joke) Sex Sells

They say sex sells,
but I can't give mine away.

(Joke) House 6 (Joke) House 6

It’s hard to clean your house when you, yourself, are trash.

(Joke) Guitar solo (Joke) Guitar solo

If you played a guitar solo while eating a brownie...that would be really self indulgent.

(Joke) Light of My Life (Joke) Light of My Life

You're the light of my life.  No, actually, that's the sun.  Sorry.

(Joke) Dimensional Joke (Joke) Dimensional Joke

Critics often call actors one-dimensional.
Which is dumb, because then you wouldn’t be able to see them.

(Joke) Santa Claus (Joke) Santa Claus

I think of God like Santa Claus.
If I don't believe in him, he won't come to my house.
And if he doesn't come to my house, I don't have to be good.

(Joke) Death Metal Joke (Joke) Death Metal Joke

Death metal
Is when a steel beam falls on you.

(Joke) Sex on the Beach Joke (Joke) Sex on the Beach Joke

Last night I had sex on the beach with a beautiful girl.  Of course I had to drown her first.

(Joke) Beat Joke (Joke) Beat Joke

I march to the beat of my own drummer, but he keeps fucking up.

(Joke) People Joke (Joke) People Joke

I like talking to people, I just hate listening to them.

(Joke) Plant Joke (Joke) Plant Joke

It would be bad if I were a plant, because then I would have to go outside.

(Joke) Garden Joke 2 (Joke) Garden Joke 2

I work in my garden every day.  I hate flowers, but I love wasting time.

(Joke) Virus Joke (Joke) Virus Joke

The best remedy for a computer virus is apathy.

 

(Joke) Secret Garden (Joke) Secret Garden

I have a secret garden...
Shit, I guess I don't now.

 

(Joke) Bathroom Garden (Joke) Bathroom Garden

I have a skylight in my bathroom,
So I planted a garden in my toilet.

(Joke) Pit Stop Joke (Joke) Pit Stop Joke

Your mama’s so fat,
she needs a pit stop crew when she goes to the buffet.

(Joke) Pegasus Joke (Joke) Pegasus Joke

It’s a good thing that the pegasus isn’t real,
Because washing your car would be a bitch.

(Joke) Mute Joke (Joke) Mute Joke

I hit the mute button on my TV and all the people started using sign language.   

(Joke) Frog Joke 9 (Joke) Frog Joke 9

Frogs are the only animal that use the slam dunk as a method of locomotion.

(Joke) Remote Joke (Joke) Remote Joke

Want to have a long distance relationship?
I'm not remotely interested.

(Joke) Poetic Devices (Joke) Poetic Devices

There are many poetic devices,
But a cell phone isn't one of them,
because no one would ever
want to talk to a poet.

(Joke) Rule (Joke) Rule

I read a biography about the King of England. 
Man, that guy ruled.

(Joke) House 3 (Joke) House 3

If you have sex with someone who lives with you,
you’re room mating.

(Joke) Dust Joke (Joke) Dust Joke

It would be cool if Dust in the Wind
was written about vanquished witches.  

(Joke) Librarian Joke (Joke) Librarian Joke

I think the librarian likes me,
because she's always checkin' me out.

(Joke) Animated Joke (Joke) Animated Joke

The most animated people I've ever seen
were in cartoons.

(Joke) Vader Farts (Joke) Vader Farts

 I wonder if it makes that wooshing sound when Vader farts.

(Joke) Insert (Joke) Insert

I hit the insert key and my computer got pregnant.

(Joke) Food for Thought Joke (Joke) Food for Thought Joke

Here's some food for thought:
If you had food for thought then you wouldn't be very smart.

 

 

(Joke) Tumblr Joke (Joke) Tumblr Joke

Tumblr is a social media site for mountain climbers who aren't that good.

(Joke) Dominos Joke (Joke) Dominos Joke

Playing dominos in space must be a drag.

(Joke) Grandfather Joke (Joke) Grandfather Joke

I went back in time to kill my grandfather
but he kicked my ass.

(Joke) Selfie Joke (Joke) Selfie Joke

I like to take selfies
in case I stop being ugly.

(Joke) Internet Attack Joke (Joke) Internet Attack Joke

The best way to protect yourself from internet attackers is with chain mail.

(Joke) Random Acts of Kindness 2 (Joke) Random Acts of Kindness 2

I participated in Random Acts of Kindness Day by
gluing tails back on lizards.

(Joke) Hush Puppies (Joke) Hush Puppies

What's a mute person's favorite food?
Hush puppies.

(Joke) Fish Joke (Joke) Fish Joke

Fish don't need condoms 
Because fish are ugly

(Joke) Compass Joke (Joke) Compass Joke

My conscience is my compass, which makes it very difficult to sail my boat.

(Joke) Singing 2 (Joke) Singing 2

One of the tragedies of life is that people who cannot sing, still do.

(Joke) Silk Worms (Joke) Silk Worms

Silk worms must have
a great sex life.

(Joke) Darrells (Joke) Darrells

Most Darrells are exactly how you think.

(Joke) Question (Joke) Question

When people come up and say, hey can I ask you a question?
they just answered their own question.

(Joke) Chords 2 (Joke) Chords 2

Seventh chords sound cool,
but the first six chords are alright too.

(Joke) Better Half Joke (Joke) Better Half Joke

I'd like to say you're my better half, but my better half is my right side.

(Joke) Sports Joke (Joke) Sports Joke

Dating is a lot like playing a sport.
So when I'm having trouble with women,
I remember this quote from football legend Dale Earnhardt, Jr.:
"You miss 100% of the dunks you don't make."

(Joke) Short People (Joke) Short People

Short people don't like me.
My jokes go over their head.

(Joke) Test Joke (Joke) Test Joke

A guy in my city died while taking a physical fitness test.
I guess that means he failed the test.

(Joke) Archeologist Joke (Joke) Archeologist Joke

You shouldn't marry an archeologist
Because they are always dating other people.

(Joke) Money Joke 2 (Joke) Money Joke 2

Money is made out of paper because the government couldn’t find anything more inefficient to use.

(Joke) Metal Joke (Joke) Metal Joke

Last night I saw this death metal band called Morbid Obesity.  
Man, they were heavy.

(Joke) Mountain Climber Joke (Joke) Mountain Climber Joke

I have no respect for mountain climbers.
When I meet one, I tell them,
"There is more to life than getting high."

(Joke) Girls salad joke (Joke) Girls salad joke

I like salad. 
It keeps pretty girls from being fat.

(Joke) Grand piano joke (Joke) Grand piano joke

Yesterday, I bought a grand piano.
I don’t like music, but I do hate elephants.

(Joke) Horse Joke 2 (Joke) Horse Joke 2

Horses hate comedy,
They're always chomping at the bit.

(Joke) Chopin Joke 1 (Joke) Chopin Joke 1

They say Chopin died from tuberculosis
But I think he just got sick of playing all those notes.

(Joke) Internet Joke (Joke) Internet Joke

The Internet is like a teenager.
It's always on the computer,
and it thinks it knows everything,
 

(Joke) Space Joke (Joke) Space Joke

One cosmological theory says the universe was created by the energy of the vacuum.
If so, that would explain why everything sucks.

(Joke) Phantom Menace Joke (Joke) Phantom Menace Joke

The Phantom Menace sounds like a horror movie.  And, for Star Wars fans, it was.

(Joke) Alien Companies (Joke) Alien Companies

Do alien companies have a human resources department?

(Joke) Keyboard (Joke) Keyboard

When you’re tired of typing, you’re key bored.

(Joke) TV Screen (Joke) TV Screen

If it were really a TV screen
it would only show me what I wanted to see.

(Joke) Planet Joke (Joke) Planet Joke

The scientists thought they discovered a new planet,
but it was just your momma’s buffet plate.

(Joke) How's Life (Joke) How's Life

When people ask me, how's life?
I tell them,
Life is abundant, in the climates that support it.

(Joke) Zack and Cheese (Joke) Zack and Cheese

The other day, I was talking to my friend Zack.
And I said, "Zack, buddy.  Zack.  Listen.
If I added cheese to you,
you would be Zack & Cheese."

 

(Joke) House 8 (Joke) House 8

My friend got kicked out by his wife.  So he knocks on my door and he says, “Hey man, do you have a place to stay?”  And I said, “I do, but you don’t.”

(Joke) House 11 (Joke) House 11

It’s actually a compliment to call me a doormat, because doormats don’t cry when you step on them.

(Joke) Floor (Joke) Floor

The carpet salesman wanted to speak, so I told him, “Okay, you have the floor.”

(Joke) Perfection (Joke) Perfection

It's not done when it's perfect,
It's done when I'm tired of working on it.

(Joke) Someone Joke (Joke) Someone Joke

When I say I’m looking for love, people tell me, Someone is out there for you.  But I don’t want a one.  I want at least a five or a six.

(Joke) Quarter Joke (Joke) Quarter Joke

I hit a guy with a roll of quarters.  That was close quarters combat.

(Joke) Consumed Joke (Joke) Consumed Joke

When I was younger, I was consumed by love, but it spit me back out.

(Joke) Snail Joke (Joke) Snail Joke

Life is a drag.

Especially if you are a snail.

(Joke) Wind Crystal (Joke) Wind Crystal

Did I just fart?  
No, that was the power of the wind crystal.

(Joke) Headphones Joke 4 (Joke) Headphones Joke 4

Headphones are bullshit.  Sure, you can put them on your head, but you can’t call anybody.

(Joke) Guitar Solo 2 (Joke) Guitar Solo 2

Girls love to watch my guitar solos
end.

(Joke) Pick (Joke) Pick

If you use your guitar pick to pick your boogers,
that is still less gross than playing a guitar solo.

 

(Joke) time traveler (Joke) time traveler

If you’re a time traveler, it’s easy to get out of things. 
“Are you free Friday Night at 7?” 
“No, I’ll be in the past on Friday.”

(Joke) Good Games (Joke) Good Games

They used to make games good before they released them.  But then they figured out that you’d buy them anyway.

(Joke) Kick a Dog (Joke) Kick a Dog

People get mad when I tell them I kicked my dog, but he started it.

(Joke) Little Kids (Joke) Little Kids

Little kids are cute.  For about 10 seconds.

(Joke) Half Naked Woman (Joke) Half Naked Woman

If you have to use a half-naked woman to sell your product,
it’s not that good.

(Joke) Model Citizen (Joke) Model Citizen

I wanted to be a model citizen, so I moved to Paris.

(Joke) Youtube Channel (Joke) Youtube Channel

I had a youtube channel,
but people kept changing it.

(Joke) Ugly (Joke) Ugly

If you want to know what it’s like to be ugly,
imagine that everything you ever said to the opposite sex
was translated as “I want to eat the contents of your skull.”

(Joke) Assault (Joke) Assault

I punched a guy, then I threw some double A’s at him.
It was assault and battery.

(Joke) Fat Joke 2 (Joke) Fat Joke 2

I thought I saw a woolly mammoth
But it was just your mom in a fur coat

(Joke) Fast Forward (Joke) Fast Forward

Time flies when you’re having fun
Because God fast forwards through the boring shit.

(Joke) Hard Water (Joke) Hard Water

I threw hard water at my friend  
and he died.

(Joke) What (Joke) What

I’m going to change my name to What,
because What’s happening.




Poems
Words that aren't words.
(Poem) Medicine (Poem) Medicine

No Medicine can Heal me,
I need the Strength to bear the Pain.

(Poem) The Sky (Poem) The Sky

The sky burns with joy
As I writhe in the earth.
Darkness is all I see.

(Poem) Aphrodite (Poem) Aphrodite

Aphrodite
looks so sweet
but she
hides
a murderer's heart

(Poem) The Poet Tree (Poem) The Poet Tree

The poet tree
is where they hang
all the lovers.




Thoughts
Quotes that won't be quoted by anyone.
(Thought) Fighting Spirit (Thought) Fighting Spirit

The difference between a strong person and a weak person is their willingness to fight for what they want.

(Thought) Ideal I (Thought) Ideal I

Be careful not to confuse
the world you want to live in 
with the world you actually live in.

(Thought) Truth (Thought) Truth

There is a different Truth for each person.

(Thought) Experience - Life (Thought) Experience - Life

The experience of a life, in summation, is greater than a moment can measure.

(Thought) Melancholy (Thought) Melancholy

Melancholy is the love of our ideals in the face of their failure.

(Thought) Future (Thought) Future

You can't live in the castles you build in the future.

(Thought) Plate (Thought) Plate

We are maggots scouring a plate, pretending we are gods and heroes.

(Thought) Particles (Thought) Particles

I'm a pile of particles
That thinks it's a human

(Thought) Personhood (Thought) Personhood

Being a good person is NOT a substitute for being a GREAT one.

(Thought) Despair (Thought) Despair

Despair is the difference between hope and reality.

(Thought) Confidence (Thought) Confidence

Confidence is loving yourself in spite of your flaws.

(Thought) Thought and Emotion (Thought) Thought and Emotion

Thought and Emotion are worthless
If they are not attached to the Will.

(Thought) Futile (Thought) Futile

It's not futile if you like doing it.

(Thought) Winning (Thought) Winning

You can only win in the world if you win within yourself first.

(Thought) Value (Thought) Value

Value is subjective, a composite of people's views. Yet one person's view of your value has an undeniably quantitative effect on how they treat you, and thus, your fate. It may make you feel better to say that you are perfect how you are, but in the eyes of the world, it is simply not true.

(Thought) Glory (Thought) Glory

You cannot beg for glory; it must be earned.

(Thought) Joke (Thought) Joke

If the world is a joke, we should learn to laugh louder.

(Thought) Power (Thought) Power

A person's power can be measured by the number of rules they have to follow.

(Thought) Fate (Thought) Fate

You can't fight fate, but you can fight your own weakness.

(Thought) The World (Thought) The World

Change yourself, and the world will follow.
Try to change the world, and the world will laugh.

(Thought) Microcosm = Macrocosm (Thought) Microcosm = Macrocosm

While I exist, the universe cannot exist without me, for I am here.

(Thought) Hope (Thought) Hope

Hope is the belief that life can be different than it is now.

(Thought) Trouble (Thought) Trouble

The more trouble she's worth, the more trouble she is.

(Thought) Ideas (Thought) Ideas

A dilettante hoards his ideas.
An artist finishes his ideas.
A master transcends his ideas.

(Thought) Boundaries (Thought) Boundaries

Don't let other people dictate how you feel.

(Thought) Hope (Thought) Hope

Hope is a fool's disease.

(Thought) Loser (Thought) Loser

I would rather fail, and be a loser,
Than run away, and be a coward.

(Thought) Relationships (Thought) Relationships

Relationships work best when both parties want the same things.

(Thought) Ideals (Thought) Ideals

Ideals can never be realized.
But they show us where reality is lacking.

(Thought) Cruelty (Thought) Cruelty

The world is cruel beyond our means to imagine, and we forget that at our peril.  Should anything good happen to us, we should consider it luck, and not the pattern of our fortune.  

(Thought) The difference between a dream and a goal (Thought) The difference between a dream and a goal

The difference between a dream and a goal is ACTION.

(Thought) True Love (Thought) True Love

True love acts not out of desire but because it cannot stop itself.

(Thought) Truly Unique (Thought) Truly Unique

Things that are truly different stand out.
The best way to make something truly different is to be yourself and stop trying to be everyone else.

(Thought) Love and Understanding I (Thought) Love and Understanding I

No one can love you as much as you love yourself,
because no one can know you as well as you know yourself.

(Thought) Society (Thought) Society

To live in society is to trade freedom for comfort.  
Those who provide comfort rule.
Those who need comfort obey.
The more comforts we have, the more civilized we become.
The more comforts we need, the less free we become.

(Thought) Separation of Church and State (Thought) Separation of Church and State

There can be no true separation of church and state when state officials are elected by votes and the voters all go to church.

(Thought) Effort (Thought) Effort

Effort does not equal greatness.

(Thought) Effort II (Thought) Effort II

You have to have the right idea and the right technique before effort starts to have fruit.  Otherwise you are running really fast in the wrong direction.

(Thought) Self-Hate (Thought) Self-Hate

I don't hate myself
I hate the me that others see

(Thought) Ego (Thought) Ego

Ego is inferiority.
True superiority acts without approval from others.

(Thought) Depression (Thought) Depression

Depression is an excess of Emotion and Thought combined with a starvation of the Will.

(Thought) Faith (Thought) Faith

Living in the present would seem to preclude the need to have faith, as faith is essentially hope, the hope that you are correct in your ideas--and hope is always future-based.




Art
The sound of color, or the color of sound.

Click the image to view the large version.
(Art) Saya (Art) Saya
Saya
(Art) Digital pencil drawing (Art) Digital pencil drawing
Digital pencil drawing
(Art) Withered by a faceless wind... (Art) Withered by a faceless wind...
Withered by a faceless wind...
(Art) Yukata Girl (Art) Yukata Girl
Yukata Girl
(Art) portrait of Catherine. Digital ink (Art) portrait of Catherine. Digital ink
(Art) Gemma Arterton pencil (Art) Gemma Arterton pencil
Gemma Arterton pencil
(Art) Shujin from Bakuman (Art) Shujin from Bakuman
Shujin from Bakuman
(Art) Atalia, Governor of Hell (Art) Atalia, Governor of Hell
A soul doomed to rule over sorrow and death.
(Art) Alyssa Milano pencil (Art) Alyssa Milano pencil
Alyssa Milano pencil
(Art) Anaru from Ano hana (Art) Anaru from Ano hana
Anaru from Ano hana
(Art) CLOUD MUTHA TRUCKIN STRIFE (Art) CLOUD MUTHA TRUCKIN STRIFE
CLOUD MUTHA TRUCKIN STRIFE
(Art) 6-15-15 green eyes.png (Art) 6-15-15 green eyes.png



Articles
Wherein I hit ideas on the head with a hammer to see what's inside.
Click the title to read the full article.
(Article) Motivation for Artists (Article) Motivation for Artists
What motivates us to create art? Or: why do I lack motivation to create when I love art so much?... When we lack motivation to create, it's because we've lost the fun of creating. We are focusing too much on the work.
(Article) How to Cross Dimensions: Dimension Traveler Stories - An Examination (Article) How to Cross Dimensions: Dimension Traveler Stories - An Examination
Types of Dimension Stories...
(Article) Faith and Religion (Article) Faith and Religion
Faith is the art of dressing emotion in the clothes of reason...
(Article) Pleasure vs Health (Article) Pleasure vs Health
We can say “Things that please me are good.” And we can also say “Things that are healthy are good.” But what is pleasing is not always healthy...
(Article) Drawing People (Article) Drawing People
If you are drawing or painting people: Get the proportions right before you do anything else...
(Article) Art and Violence (Article) Art and Violence
Can the violence depicted in art lead people to commit real violence?...
(Article) Arguing Religion (Article) Arguing Religion
Atheists and agnostics love to argue with the religious. They try so earnestly to persuade, but accomplish nothing. Because they constantly, constantly make this mistake. They argue against religion using logic...
(Article) Fiction: Physical vs Emotional Stakes (Article) Fiction: Physical vs Emotional Stakes
(Article) Willpower (Article) Willpower
Willpower is the art of doing what you say you will do...
(Article) Willpower: Fighting Habits (Article) Willpower: Fighting Habits
Habits are things we do because we always do them. Frequently these are things we want to change--but we find it difficult because we have programmed ourselves to do them...